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| Two IF conditions, in Allman style |
I consider myself a fairly rational person, and hopefully others do too. But I am very control freakish about the world, to the point of obsession. If things don't neatly go the way I want them to, I take great offence. This is not to say I go around imposing my will on people. I do take suggestions and I do change my mind. But when things happen, and it seems very illogical, and nobody offers me a proper explanation as to why it is so, I try to fix it. Like a mad web designer screwing with Firebug, I hack away. Slowly but steadily, while you are sound asleep, I am awake, plotting away. Social engineering. Researching. Waiting for the perfect moment to launch a blitzkrieg... I know, creepy right?
And then, I fail. Because other people's problems aren't mine to "fix" (the polite way of saying I should sod off and mind my own business). And then, without letting go of obsessions, I let go of people. Ah, the greatest gift and the greatest curse of being an only child - the ability to be completely by yourself and yet have a good time. A great time. (Ok, a pretty much awesome time... People are meh.) ;P
So anyway, point of this post is to remind myself that I've tried 4 times to "save" someone, and four times I've failed, because if anyone wants salvation, they'd just ask for it. And probably ask someone else, coz I'm creepy. ;)
And before I go, I'd like to share the words of the great I from uni: "Anith unge prashna oluwata daagena api mokatada nahenne" or "Why do we bother with other people's problems to the point of killing ourselves".
Dedicated to G1, who is happy; to G2, who is confused; to G3, who I'm confused about; and to G4, who will see the light someday - I will make sure she does. Muhahahaha. :/ *facepalm*
The winky smiley adds to the creepy-ness :P
ReplyDeleteYeah, it can get pretty frustrating but sometimes, if it just isn't working out, you've got to let them be. Some people need to figure things out for themselves.
You can't help people who don't want help :)
ReplyDelete(I was once in a similar situation and wrote down my thoughts http://wp.me/p1rVu-6M )
One of those four never asked you to fix her problems, she just told you about them because it made her feel better. For her, that was enough "fixing". But you let her go, and she understands. I hope you know how much she cares about you and is grateful for all the love and affection. She misses you and wishes you well. And hopes you had a happy 21st. And you did tell her to never talk to you again, but she couldn't resist saying this. And she doesn't know if she is G2 or G4, but she is okay, really okay. Thank you for everything. Take good care.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time that I'd say up night trying to fix something because someone was wrong in the Internet. :)
ReplyDeleteAh... I just *had to* ask if these were your one time girl friends...
ReplyDeleteMeg - Amen to that. :)
ReplyDeleteChanux - Totally! Will check out the post. :D
G4 - Good to hear that you're ok. I hope you understand that it was never my intention to hurt you, though my bull-in-chinashop way of rushing out of *that* was childish and not very elegant. :/
Gaveen - Hahaha! :D You're talking about this, yeah? xD
Angel - Only one of them, if you can even call it that. :)
Thanks for the comments, guys.
G1 (am I G1?)is blissfully happy and at peace.And she wishes the same for you.And just so you know, there were no what ifs for her then, and there are none now, because she's where she wants to be. :)
ReplyDeleteBo.
I'm confused. Hope G2 and G3 also appear in the comment line? :D
ReplyDeleteBo - :)
ReplyDeleteKirigalpoththa - Haha, this post is a fail of epic proportions. :/ LOL.
What is this nonsense Chavie ? Where was all these whatifs and case statements when we were together? I see you are now slowly trying to crawl back into my life. That is ok. It just takes a while because , so many memories. So many.
ReplyDelete"Your comment was published". I meant to say where were*. See what you are doing to me. Godamit.
ReplyDeleteDamith - Hahaha. xD So many memories indeed... :') Mailed you, btw. :D
ReplyDelete